We were created by LOVE, to love and be loved - to experience an awesome two way interchange of a powerful choice, a powerful emotion, a powerful action - authentic, untainted LOVE. Yet, here we are. Most of us, not experiencing this LOVE transaction - at least, not like it was intended.
God, in his ultimate wisdom, placed us here - on Earth with other broken, human beings. All of us created by Love, needing Love and wanting to Love - but not knowing how.
Some of us had amazing examples. We watched our parents, our friends, or other family members love each other - and we learned from them. We learned who LOVE is. We learned what LOVE looks like. We learned how to LOVE, how to be loved by God, how to love God in return, and then how to love others.
But sometimes we don't have examples - or even when we do, we miss it. We fail to see what's right before us. We don't get it. And we end up not knowing LOVE - not really. Oh sure, we might feel passionate emotions, empathy, need, desire, even compassion... but not LOVE.
I think LOVE must be received first before it can be given or felt for another. If we don't feel, experience and receive unconditional love, how can we KNOW it? And, how can we give or feel something we've never known?
Many times what we think is love, is not. It's really a saccharin, a substitute, a counterfeit for true LOVE. And it suffices for only a time. It is sweet enough to get us by - but, it doesn't compare to the real thing. And it's this lack of true LOVE that leads to our less than satisfying relationships.
I've always been relational - desiring and even needing people in my life. People who love me and WANT to be a part of my daily reality. However, thoughout my life I've found myself continually disappointed by my relationships. I know oftentimes I'm left wanting more due to my unhealthy desire to get my own needs met (see previous post - re: the soul). But, even when I'm allowing God to meet my needs and heal my heart; even when I am feeling and receiving HIS true, deep, unconditional LOVE; I generally still end up desiring my human relationships to be deeper, more authentic, more intentional.
I've found people generally develop relationship around a common need or task. They get together for a shared purpose or objective. How boring to only be in relationship with those you "work" with. I think this is great way to meet people -but not the best reason to maintain a relationship. And, what happens when the common purpose is over or your accomplish your goal? The relationship fades.
Getting along with others well enough to get work done is important - but is this true relationship? friendship? LOVE? I don't think so. I think it's camaraderie, at best.
To me the most satisfying relationships are with those who come with their needs ALREADY met by GOD. Who are not looking to fix or be fixed. Who are not looking to me to met their needs and aren't consumed with meeting mine. Who aren't so focused on doing, that they can't enjoy just BEING.
My best relationships have developed when each person CHOSE to invest in the other - not for any ulterior motive - but only to express LOVE. To give of themselves because they had something to give. These friendships are two way. Both put energy in. Both are committed to the maintenance and growth of the relationship. BOTH participate. When we sow regularly, we reap big blessings from our garden of friendship. What kind of blessings? Blessings like growth, development and transformation - emotional, spiritual, relational.
I'm personally convinced that it's through these authentic relationships that we are transformed. God uses these honest, transparent friendships to teach us how to forgive, how to relate, understand, listen, dream, support and LOVE one other. They aren't easy or automatic. They take time, energy, honesty and work. They must go through hard times - like when you tell the truth that's hard to hear or need to ask for forgiveness - but, in spite of it all, you BOTH choose to press on.
I believe we all have the opportunity to touch another's life in the most beautiful ways - and to be transformed in the process. Because we were created to love and be loved, LOVE gave us the gift of not ONLY experiencing and receiving HIS perfect love, but then learning how to LOVE one another. AND, through this giving and receiving relationally - we are forever changed. It's a beautiful premise. An amazing story.
If only more people would participate! If only we would step outside of our busyness and make time to invest in one another. To give what only we have to give and to receive what others have for us.
Jesus, teach us how to receive and experience YOU - true LOVE. Let our hearts be healed by your unchanging, unconditional love. Let us choose to love you in return. AND then, teach us how to truly love one another. Teach us how to relate in ways that are authentic, healthy, satisfying and TRANSFORMATIONAL to our souls.
teach us how to love and be loved.
