There's an amazing transformation I've been experiencing over the past few years - an awakening of the parts of my heart that were asleep for many years. After 15years of abandoning most creative expression, the Lord awaken these parts of my heart and I started singing, dancing, writing and creating again.
It was the most incredible, beautiful and fulfilling experience - to began to do some of the very things He created me to do - for my enjoyment and for His. I realize now that this need to be creative is very significant for me. Just as God is the Creator - He created us in His image - making each of us, also creative.
For the last few years I've been writing my thoughts in random places. This has been difficult for me to track and hard to share. Hopefully this blog will be a better way for me to log my writing and to invite those who care (and those who are curious) to read my ramblings.
As I look back on why these very fulfilling aspects of myself were lost for so many years, I begin to realize how our judgements of ourselves and others effect what parts of our hearts we accept and reject. We determine in our own minds what's valuable, worthwhile and productive - and then discard or suppress the rest.
I think it's kinda funny when I think about it - that most of us try to fit everything in life into categories. And, as much as I've tried to break out of these boxes (and acknowledge that there really is NO BOX!) The more I see again and again that we all come back to safe, clearly-defined categories for ourselves that end up restraining our thinking, our life experience and our potential.
When I was young I loved to pretend, to sing, to dance. As I grew up, I loved musical theater, writing, vocal performance. Then I entered college. I realized that these "hobbies" were not going to take me very far (unless I wanted to wait tables in New York or LA.) So, being a realist, I took a look at my skills and I decided to study something much more practical, communications.
I realize now, 20 years later, that my decision for a major in college was much more than that for me. I was placing value on the practical, administrative, productive skills and letting go of the artistic and even relational sides of myself.
I am grateful now that God is showing me what HE values, what HE enjoys. It's not only the organized, practical, administrator. It's also the creative, artistic, dreamer, writer, singer, dancer.
And I can be them ALL!
