I remember when I turned 37 years old. I began to feel the importance of the next three years. I really felt God was speaking to me about being in a season of preparation. It was almost as if He was preparing me for a release into what He created me to do. Those three years passed very quickly.
Six months from now I'll celebrate my 40th birthday. I know for some their birthdays are just another day – no big deal. But to me, marking moments in time is a significant part of my journey.
I believe it’s important to stop and take a look at the progress of one’s life. If we don’t review where we’ve been, acknowledge the mistakes we’ve made, appreciate the successes we’re experienced, process the hard times, enjoy and be grateful for the blessing... how can we learn? Aren’t we here to grow, to develop, to become one with God? If so, I believe learning from our mistakes is one of the most effective ways to do that. And you must take a good hard look at what has been, before you can be truly honest about what is to come. Sometimes we aren't where we think we are. Reflection is key to planning. In other words, hindsight is 20/20.
I think if we aren't careful, life can be far too haphazard. I believe in being intentional. I believe we only get one shot at this beautiful gift and it’s up to us what we make of it. I believe this intentional, internal processing is a critical aspect of our growth and development as humans.
As I experience this time of “getting ready” for this next season, God has been reviewing with me some of my gifts, areas where He created me strong, talents. He’s also been showing me my weaknesses – i.e. things I was NOT created to do. Then, He’s reminded me of my passions. You know the things you do, or have done in the past, that you LOVE! Things that literally make your heart come alive.
As I’ve listened to His Spirit and allowed Him to remind me of these passions, I’ve developed many lists. (Actually making lists is something I also really enjoy.) It’s been so good to REMEMBER what it is that makes me feel fully alive and it’s been fun to dabble in those things again.
However, this process has been hard too. It’s been painful to look at the times when I denied my “calling” in order to please others. Times I’ve been too afraid, too prideful (shy) to walk in the fullness of who I truly am. It’s been hard to look honestly at the ways I’ve prevented my own destiny through fear, resentment, unforgiveness, pride or judgments about myself or others.
God has been faithful to show me how I’ve gotten in the way of becoming and functioning as the woman of God He created me to be. That part hasn’t been fun.
But by looking hard at the good, the bad and the ugly, I’ve become ready – ready to set my fears aside, ready to embrace the fullness of diane marie and accept me for who HE created me to be – no apologies, no excuses – just the read deal – nothing more, nothing less.
And recently, I’ve started moving in this direction. I’ve been doing some small things that will prepare me for the bigger things He has planned. That’s been exciting.
I’ve also developed a good measure of resolve. I will NOT settle for LESS than ALL He has for me. I think the worst thing that can happen for a human is REGRET. I want to limit my regrets as much as possible. Even if I look like a fool to the world, so BE IT. I want to do the things He created me to do – even if others don’t like them.
I want to live for that audience of ONE… fully accomplishing (to the best of my ability as a flawed human) the will, the plan, the destiny HE set out for me.
I want to be ready too for the “backlash.” You know what I mean. The little comments made like “why are you doing that?” and other judgmental jabs. I think others are intimidated by someone who is walking in their destiny. As humans we all believe there is only one way of doing things and that’s “our way.” When we see others pushing the limits, we are triggered and want them to get in line – so we can be confirmed that what we are doing is “right.”
I don’t want to be pulled into any of that dialogue. I want to keep my eyes fixed on the goal and objective of my life. I’ve lived 39 years getting ready. “Today is the first day of the rest of my life.” I’m sure I have many more mistakes ahead of me, but from this moment forward, I want to choose to ONLY do what I was created for...
nothing more - nothing less.
