my study of human nature has been a lifelong endeavor - interesting to some and annoying to others.
I’ve taken a renewed interest of late in personality type and understanding how people are wired. My daughter, who is not wired to be interested in such topics, recently said… “and some people have the personality type that cares (about personality type) and that would be you, mom.”
Yes. That would be me. I care. I know it’s weird, annoying and pointless to many but to me, understanding those around me matters. In fact, it matters so much that I am now completely convinced that if we actually KNEW our friends and family for who they truly are, we would have much more fulfilling relationships AND less heartache, misunderstandings, unfulfilled expectations, hurt feelings, broken marriages and dissolved friendships.
As I have studied the natural differences in people, I have to realize that much my hurt in life has been the result of mere misunderstandings. If I had understood the person I was relating to better, I would have changed my expectations, my communication style or how I interpreted a situation. I could have avoided so many hurt feelings and broken relationships. Instead of striving to know my friend better, I simply assumed I knew what they meant by what they said – because, after all, I know what I would mean by that comment… and words only mean what they mean, right?
Proverbs instructs us to “know thyself” and yet we spend very little time taking an objective look at how we were created. It seems many Christians believe that when we become followers of Christ we lose our selves and we all begin to look and act the same – like Christians. I strongly disagree.
The analogy of the “body of Christ” – one being a foot and another a finger – gives us good reason to consider the fact that HOW we were created, uniquely, is something we retain throughout our journey as followers of Christ on this earth and into eternity.
I believe God created each of us exactly how HE wanted us - each person with gifts, skills, abilities and unique talents that glorify God when they are submitted to Him. Of course our sinful nature will change as we submit to the leadership of the Holy Spirit and our personalities can certainly change as a result. Our wrong thinking, bad habits, dysfunctional ways of dealing with life, should and WILL go away as we grow in our love relationship with Christ. BUT, this is not the same as melding into one generic Christian type. We retain our special, unique selves and we become our special, unique, redeemed selves.
So what? Ok daughter… so what? James exhorts us to inspect our own hearts - to take a critical look at our motives, our intentions. If we are unaware of how we think, feel, process, perceive others, it is very difficult to see ourselves objectively.
Keep in mind, the human condition is forever prideful. This focus on self causes us to believe we are right. We make many assumptions. We assume we know the right way of doing things. We know what others mean by what they say… etc. This position of pride causes us to be blind to truth behind our motives and intentions. If we delve to understand the design of our own souls (mind, will, emotions – i.e. personality) we will be better able to see the shortcomings and sin on our own hearts. Our sinful motives will be revealed more readily as we see our weakness for what they really are.
I think most people avoid understanding themselves and others better because of pride. If they took an objective look at who they are and who they aren’t, they would have to see their strengths and their weakness – what they are naturally gifted at doing and what is difficult for them and takes alot of effort.
Knowing yourself means being held accountable for who you are. It’s much easier to be in the dark about these things and blame others for not being able to relate well, meet your needs, or behavior accordingly.
Know thyself, humble thyself and then... love thy neighbor as thyself.
